Energy-draining forms of resting

design, desk, display

Yes, you read this correctly. Some activities seem to be helping us to relax but actually drain a lot of our energy because they need a great deal of attention and focus.

For example, using the Internet may seem like fun but as you know it’s a really huge time waster and energy and attention drainer! Funny videos on You Tube may feel like a great way to relax because they make you smile or laugh but it’s a bit like eating chocolate—it works only for a moment and after such a break you actually feel more tired.

The Apple company confirmed in 2016 that their device users unlock their phones 80 times a day on average. This means 6 to 8 times an hour! Sounds unbelievable, right? Make a simple experiment. You can check how much time you waste on your phone by using one of these apps: Checky, Menthal or the recently created AntiSocial. These apps will allow you to see a lot of different interesting information about your phone usage. For instance, AntiSocial will show you if you use your phone or social media more or less when compared with someone who has a similar demographic as you. Researchers advise the use of one of these apps for around 2 weeks to be able to see a more accurate reflection of your real habits.

It is important to be aware how much time we waste on the Internet or on our phone, especially when it’s associated with factors such as low self-esteem, depression, insomnia and, of course, contributes to our delaying or failing to achieve our personal goals.

Many of us say that we have NO TIME. Check the results of your phone, tablet and PC usage and think again – do you really lack time or can you use your time more effectively?

Spending time with SOME people is another activity which looks like a form of resting but may actually drain a lot of your energy. You perhaps don’t feel like meeting some people but at the same time you think you probably should see and speak to them (family friends; a colleague that you see once or twice a year because neither of you feel you should call each other more often; a work colleague that you don’t really like or can’t trust but you feel you should sit with them during lunch time). Meeting people just for the sake of it and having some meaningless conversations can be really energy draining. It is often more about being polite and pretending than being really interested in socialising or what another person wants to tell you.

Try a brisk walk, mindfulness, stretching, or reading a book instead! Did you know that only 6 minutes of reading can decrease your stress level by nearly 70%? 

If you think of different activities during your usual week you may find more things like that. Surely watching TV is one of the examples.

What activities actually make you feel better, more confident, stronger, more optimistic and creative? Think what things make you feel like you have more energy and do them WAY MORE OFTEN!

What about unimportant meaningless stuff—don’t waste your precious time on it. Don’t let others decide what may be good for you. Don’t do things just to satisfy others and just because something may look good. Often no-one will remember and care. You have only one precious life and really, you should live it the way you want to.

 

 

7 Worst Email Mistakes Everyone Makes

  1. Replying to emails,a well-known rule: “If it takes you 1-2 minutes, do it right away”. 

If you answer all your emails very quickly then before you manage to go through all of them you may sometimes start to get replies to your replies …which you’ve just managed to send…

Some emails just create more emails. It’s like a never-ending story. If something isn’t very clear or you think it may take a few emails being sent back and forth, it’s probably better to make a phone call (during the time when you have a block-phone-calls time planned of course!).

Use the batch processing technique. According to studies, you will be most productive if you check and reply to emails only 3x a day or if you can, even more rarely.

    2. Writing over-long emails.                 

It’s difficult to keep some replies short. It’s a bit like an art and we need to mindfully practise it, but once you decide that you want to write, say, a maximum of 4-5 sentences per email, it will work wonders.

3. Using shortcuts,short forms or abbreviations when they are not needed or not well known.

It may look like we don’t really have time to reply to the email — e.g. people in some companies write KR instead of Kind Regards. According to studies, many people feel that such emails look like the sender is lazy or unprofessional.

     4. Bad grammar or spelling.

Research carried out by psychologists from North Carolina State University showed that others, who don’t know us in person, judge us a great deal based on errors in emails. If we send emails with errors, others will perceive us as less intelligent and trustworthy!

     5. Using”Reply All”too often.

Most office workers are quite busy. Emails are a biggie on the distractions list and yet we are often unnecessarily cc-ed in emails that we don’t need to read. Sometimes we just need a one-word or one-line outcome instead of the whole email trail. Sometimes it may be good to make someone aware of something but people are very BUSY nowadays and many wouldn’t like to receive ping-pong emails… Before you click on “reply to all’ think twice if it’s really needed.

     6. Use your subject line PROPERLY.

If you have a query, don’t put Hi or Just a Quick Question in your subject line…  Sometimes it will delay a reply. Sometimes it causes real problems to find an old email quickly. Try to name things as specifically as possible in the email title, e.g. XQZ project – approval needed. Or maybe something like: Issue with payment for employee KR. Feb 2018.

    7. Marking not very important emails as urgent ones!

Oh, I know some people who overuse this so much. It’s not just annoying, it’s kind of painful for the eyes. A receptionist where I worked (I worked there only once every few weeks, by the way) added me to a circular list that was sent to all professionals in the building, in higher and lower positions, and then I started to get some emails from her… sometimes quite a lot of them, all marked as urgent:

  • “There is no milk in the fridge. It will be sorted out in an hour” – marked us urgent!
  • “There is a problem with the sink in one of the toilets on the first floor!” – marked as urgent!
  • “Has anyone seen a green pen somewhere in reception? It’s Katie’s! Please let me know if you did”. – also marked as urgent…

I’m busy, I mean BUSY, and I get all these urgent messages. Sometimes there are 10 or so in a day. Oh, sweet Lord, help me! It always interested me: How on earth has no-one told the receptionist yet to stop marking all her emails as urgent!

And a personal request to all bosses all over the world:

It’s great that you are able and happy to work at 11pm and then again at 2am and 4am. Fantastic. Congratulations on not needing any sleep but …

  • if you have employees who use work mobiles and don’t switch the sound off just in case of an emergency… or
  • if you know that your employee may skim the emails before getting to the office and get stressed with issues at work before even starting their shift …

please have mercy!

Just skimming emails (to see whether there is something super-urgent we should be aware of before entering the office!) can raise blood pressure and heart rate at the same time and it feels like we are working from 5am rather than 8 or 9am. It’s so difficult to forget about the distraction especially if we care about our jobs or want to be perceived as reliable workers. Please don’t… Why not leave the emails in the DRAFT folder and click SEND on them first thing in the morning when you start your shift? Surely, most of you don’t start your work with a meeting every single day and if you do you could send the pre-prepared emails minutes before the meeting from your mobile.

Have I missed anything? Please comment if you know of any other email-related sins people make?

Self-talk and your well-being.

backlit, beach, clouds

Human beings have a tendency to negative thinking, especially about themselves. We are often afraid to do something—for instance, to change a job or start a business idea—because we feel that someone else out there is better than us or that we may not deserve to succeed, or … well, we surely can always find a different excuse.

We may not even notice how much negative talk we keep in our head on an everyday basis. Sometimes we don’t feel confident, good enough, smart enough, quick enough, clever enough, fit enough, beautiful or powerful enough … we just can so easily find a variety of drawbacks depending on the area of life, or of a discipline, that we are thinking of. Actually, we are super-creative when it comes to self-pitying and finding excuses.

We never will be ‘enough’ because there ALWAYS will be someone better at something; someone more beautiful, more powerful, richer, fitter or more skilled. It’s easy to compare ourselves with others and some people’s advice is that we don’t do it at all.

However, if you focus on your strengths and positive traits, and if you start to accept and love yourself more, then comparing yourself to someone who is better should be an inspiration, rather than a problem, frustration or disappointment.

Everyone has to start somewhere.

If you can’t achieve the same or better results, then maybe it’s not what you should be doing. Do what you love, where your strengths can be used, not what you’re supposed to do or what may give you slightly more money.

Love yourself because no-one has the same unique mixture of knowledge, skills, talent, grit, ideas and experience that you have!

Be proud of who you are. You never know who has been looking at you and wishing they were you!

What discourages (instead of motivating) us in the field of personal development?

startup-photos.jpg

We know that one of the problems is of course our time usage. I don’t like to use the phrase ‘time management’. Time management used to be SO important for around a decade or so, and yet it’s vital to realise that THIS IS MORE crucial in terms of physical work (especially for example with targets in a factory) but in most jobs, such as admin or management, time isn’t as important as other aspects, such as:

  • being innovative
  • having creative ideas
  • managing stress
  • team building
  • or having great interpersonal/presentation skills

I think the term ‘self-help’ books is quite damaging as well because it seems like there is something wrong with people who read about goal setting, productivity and well-being and they NEED HELP! They need improvements in their life, like everyone does in some areas, but it sounds like they have some diseases, maybe mental health problems, and need help with this. What’s more, it suggests that the problems may be so sensitive and embarrassing that people don’t want to speak to their doctors about it and they prefer to help themselves on their own… SELF- help books… Who created such an unsuitable name tag for these great titles about personal growth, strength and motivation?! I’m glad that this has changed and publishers have started to refer to this section rather as ‘self-development’ now.

Similarly, I believe that we should find a new name for life coaches! What a discouraging wording! I think it suggests they can teach you… how to live your own life properly! So they basically seem to know everything about “how to live a happy life” and can teach everyone the same or similar techniques no matter where they come from, what situation they are in, or what they problems are. It’s like measuring everyone with the same scale.

Many people have started to make big money out of this business and unfortunately there are some so-called ‘gurus’ out there who learn all the secrets of a fulfilling, healthy and happy life on a short online course and then they are certified and ready to tell you how you should work, bring up your children, achieve your goals and build your relationships.

I was really put off by the term life coach for a long time. It sounded like people trying to get rich at the expense of whoever would be willing to pay to get advice from such modern fortune-tellers. “The concept of ‘life coaching’ barely existed 30 years ago. But by 2012, it was a $707 million business in the U.S., according to the most recent figures from the International Coach Federation (ICF).” (read more here).

It sounded like a scam and deceiving people. However, if I’m against something I like to know what it really is. How can I be against life coaches if I haven’t watched a few videos and read some books about them and written by them? I thought they were people who pretend to be psychologists. While getting familiar with the topic I’ve realised that some so-called life coaches are actually great and charismatic people who make some thought-provoking and interesting speeches. I have a few favourite ones now. I don’t treat them as my ‘gurus’ and specialists about everything but it’s motivational to listen to some of their speeches or read some books.

So, yes, it looks like the name is quite unfortunate and may put many people off rather than encourage them to learn something from, for instance, good and experienced productivity and time-management experts.

I’d recommend we dig deeper to see whether we like someone and their opinions rather than focusing on the name that may not always be chosen accurately and wisely…

How to stay more productive? And why time-management isn’t the right answer.

pexels-photo-364671 (1).jpeg

Nowadays we receive 5 times more information on a daily basis than just a few decades ago. We are expected to juggle many different roles and responsibilities and we constantly feel that we should be more productive.

There is a bit of a paradox here that people believe in. We feel we should work more and faster in order to be more productive. If you are a factory worker that’s probably the case but in most other jobs in order to be more productive we need to SLOW DOWN!

When did time start to matter to people SO MUCH? I find history quite fascinating so let’s just go through a few interesting facts:

  • In 1275, the first mechanical clock was invented in England. The oldest working clocks usually did not have any face and told the time by striking the hours.
  • Pocket watches started to be produced in the 16thcentury but showed only hours. Minute hands were added to the clocks in the 1680s. Then the second hands were added around 10 years later.
  • Mass production of watches started in the 19th century and was related to industrial changes.
  • The first wrist watches were wore by women and often used rather as a piece of jewellery than a device to measure time.

Apparently before people used watches If they wanted to tell how long something may take they would describe it by giving an example of an activity that was well known e.g. “like eating a banana”, so then everyone knew that they meant a very short period of time.

Time management used to be crucial in the industrial economy but nowadays, in the knowledge economy (when we use our knowledge to create values and products), it is ONLY ONE OUT OF A FEW important factors which can improve our effectiveness, productivity and work-life balance.

Actually managing your energy and tasks is a lot more important than time-management. Instead of worrying about passing hours and days and how we can squeeze more tasks into small blocks of time, we need to divert attention into more significant aspects, more innovative techniques and solutions which can help in achieving optimal productivity.

We feel most productive when we do a lot of things and work longer hours. Many people think then that to accomplish more you need to put more effort in, sleep fewer hours and work additionally at weekends, to be always ahead of competition! There is a bit of truth in it. Nothing that’s great comes easily and if you want to have exceptional results you need to put a lot of work and energy into whatever you are doing – writing a book, working on your business plan or creating a project for your university course or work. However, working more hours won’t make you more productive. Studies found that we should work, ideally, 35-40 hours a week in order to achieve the best results. Working more than that may work for very short periods of time—for example, a few days—but in the long-term working a lot will make you exhausted and depressed and you are at high risk of burnout. To be more productive focus on slowing down MORE!

Remember about regular breaks and getting 7-8 hours of sleep everyday as well. We all seem to know these simple rules but they are neglected by SO many of us!

Time usage is vital in our lives (that’s why we all keep looking at watches, and the most popular word in the English language is…time!) so I don’t want to say that this is not important but there seem to be other more crucial factors which can decide how effective, productive and successful we are. Focus on managing your energy levels and attention and consider how you can avoid distractions. Also, focusing on the right tasks seems a straightforward rule but is often neglected by many people who instead of spending some time on reflection, prioritising, planning and reviewing try to do more tasks and take work home.

What do you do to boost your productivity?

 

Productive Mondays! Are you a night owl or a morning bird?

food-healthy-morning-cereals.jpg

To tell the truth I’ve always struggled to define myself as either a night owl or a morning bird. Which one are you?

…On a daily basis fully 85% of the people follow an early bird schedule in the morning, but given any choice in the matter, only 22% would continue to do so.” (read more about it here )

Some periods in my life I could say that definitely working and/or studying late evenings or even at night felt most productive to me, and yet on different occasions (depending on my circumstances such as having vs not having children, work shifts etc.) I felt that I kept falling asleep around 9pm-ish but felt so much better in the mornings! Why is that, then? I was curious as to how to find out how my natural biological clock works and if this is even still possible in a world as artificial as the one we have created: we have light at night and technological devices that distract us all the time.

Thomas Edison apparently used to promote his idea of the light bulb a lot by emphasising that future generations won’t sleep much and they will be able to have longer days due to the breakthrough of electric light, and because of this they will be able to achieve more! He wasn’t entirely mistaken BUT… sleeping less than 7-8 hours isn’t part of our human nature and leads to many negative consequences, like bad mood, stress and even to some health conditions… We can control light but it doesn’t do us much good, does it?

On the other hand, when we count how much time we sleep in our BUSY, PRODUCTIVITY-BASED & ACTIVE lifestyles it seems like a huge waste of time and we feel that if we could sleep “just a little bit less” we could accomplish SO MUCH MORE!

I’ve read the book The Power of When (available HERE ) and it got me thinking… The author suggests that each of us can be one of four (rather than just two) types of people or actually… as he prefers to call it – type of an animal. It was great to find this book because it sounds so unfair to categorise ALL PEOPLE simply in one out of two categories: early riser or night owl.

It looks like I’m a bear type and I feel most energetic if I can get up when the sun is rising and go to sleep when it’s getting dark outside. It is a bit problematic where I live, in England, because during most of the cold months days are really short and I can’t do everything just within 6-7 hours a day because that’s the only time we get light! So although I may be a bear, I still need to make a choice and decide whether I can feel better and accomplish more when going to bed very late or by getting up very early. I tried both.

According to studies, night owls can often be associated with intelligence and creativity but there are so many more different benefits that you get when you get up in the morning (read more here).

I think the real breakthrough in my thinking about it was a book which I didn’t want to buy because I felt that the title was somewhat silly… What the Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast: How to Achieve More at Work and at Home by Laura Vanderkam. It turned out to be a fantastic and useful book (available HERE ).

51GX9Wl2t0L._AC_US218_

The author convinced me that getting up earlier and not spending my time on ANYTHING I have to do – such as cleaning, working, cooking, etc. – but on the most meaningful tasks and activities which make me happy, are connected to my passions and are important to me, can be a great way of improving my work-life balance and life satisfaction! Lack of tiredness and little or no distractions help me to achieve a lot more in the mornings in terms of completing different tasks related to writing, for example. Yes, that’s true, it is difficult to get up early… but once you start to do it you just need to stick to the routine even at weekends/ your days off and then it becomes so much easier.

Busier than ever before

pexels-photo-310983.jpeg

Some people say that being busy is an illusion and it is just a matter of choices and priorities. What do you think about it? I agree only partly with that.

People with fewer responsibilities have more choice with regard to arranging their activities, and thus it’s easier for them to find time for things that matter to them. But there are also working parents or single, working parents who study and these are probably the most extreme examples where the lack of time is a real struggle.

Studies show that on average a working parent has only around 2 hours a day for himself or herself. Due to lack of energy this time is often used for watching TV or using Internet.

“Every day we get 24 hours to live our lives in a meaningful way. But once you account for all the obligations each of us has, there really isn’t much time left; a paltry two and a half hours for most of us, to be exact.”

(The Productivity Project by Chris Bailey)

It’s impossible to compare or judge everyone in the same way—everyone has a different lifestyle and circumstances but my point is that being busy is not always only a matter of priorities. My priority is my family and work but even so I don’t think that personal development is just a luxury. It is something of a necessity to keep one sane and happy and maintain or improve one’s well-being—and what’s most important, it doesn’t need to be very time-consuming.

pexels-photo-768472.jpeg

I have the impression that every year I’m getting busier than the year before. It started a few years ago when I was doing my first degree (psychology) and I needed to work. Fair enough—that’s manageable. My psychology degree was distance learning but I missed the traditional (full-time) way of studying.

That’s way after a year I also enrolled for a business-related degree, this time full-time. I was doing both degrees while working in a medical centre as a receptionist and stop-smoking advisor. Most of the time I had to do full-time but I was given flexible hours which was super helpful. In my spare time I took part in different projects, wrote articles and helped organise events in my city. All these tasks kept me busy.

Then my husband and I decided that we’d like to start a family and while pregnant I was finishing the full-time degree, doing another one and working. I switched to part-time work but still, I felt really active and busy.

The real challenge to carry on with my interests and personal growth came when my daughter Nathalia arrived in this world 4 years ago. I didn’t sleep much for the first few months but soon I had to continue to study my distance-learning degree, and after the maternity leave I had to go back to full-time work as well. That was a very difficult time for me. I’ve managed to complete both degrees while working, looking after Nathalia and occasionally getting involved in some research, events or projects, but it was a real challenge. This was the time when I started to divert my attention more to articles and books related to work-life balance because that’s where I started to struggle. I learned a great deal and managed to improve my situation, especially when the degrees were done!

My hobbies are time-consuming so I’ve often felt that I struggle to find time for it. I started to familiarise myself with the topics of productivity and time-management.

hourglass-time-hours-sand-39396 (1).jpeg

This New Year will be even more challenging than my previous years, I guess, because we’ll welcome our second baby to this world! I can’t even imagine how much my life will change but I know that maternity leave isn’t a straightforward period in a woman’s life especially with two small children. I know that I’ll be in a ‘zombie mode’ a lot, without being able to sleep and think straight sometimes. I know that I’ll have a lot on my plate and will need to take a break from kind of … everything if possible for a while.

On the other hand, I know that after some time, if I organise myself well and create a good routine, I will be able to manage my life well. I believe that having a family doesn’t have to stop us doing something for our personal development, such as reading, for example. Personal growth doesn’t need to take a lot of your time and it doesn’t mean that you need to start a new course or a degree.

Looks like 2018 will be full of joy (BABY!) but also big challenges (see previous blog posts about personal development project for 2018).

I’ll probably feel busier than ever before again but, well, I know I can try to manage this in different ways.

How busy do you feel on average? 

How do you find time for your passions & personal growth?