Sometimes, when reading academic textbooks and articles on happiness – which is called subjective well-being SWB in research literature – I was REALLY surprised by new findings. We think, for example, that having children would make us happier and then… what do we find out? 😉
Research found that happiness IS NOT related to:
- Physical attractiveness! Striving to look as perfect as possible and spending a lot of money on clothes, make up, and cosmetic surgery does not equal happiness – this can be quite surprising for some people.
- Age! Some of us worry about getting old to the extent that we may think that older means unhappy! There are various findings, sometimes contradictory, about this aspect but most studies emphasise that your happiness level doesn’t depend on your age much or at all!
- Money! When you meet your BASIC needs there is not much difference between someone who is earning a low or average wage and a filthy rich person in terms of happiness! I know it may sound unbelievable for many people. Kasser in The high price of materialism (2002, available here) proved that actually desiring and focusing on the pursuit of wealth would make you LESS HAPPY! And quite often the more we have, the more we want!
- Gender. What’s interesting is that women have a greater tendency towards being depressed… but also towards being more joyful!
I found a picture which I think may be able to explain these findings… 😉
TYPICAL DAY IN A MAN’S LIFE:
TYPICAL DAY IN A WOMAN’S LIFE:
- Educational level
- Having children! Although some clarification is more than needed here 😉 It was found that having children who are up to 5 years old or teenagers makes us actually LESS HAPPY! However, children can make our life more meaningful and what’s interesting (in spite of all the stress and worries), parents live on average longer!
- Moving to a sunnier climate
- Crime prevention
- Objective health (what your doctor tells you about your health – how good your blood test results are, what you are diagnosed with, etc.)
- Environment & genetics! Even if in your genes there is some coded predisposition towards becoming unhappy or depressed, if you grow up and live in a positive, engaging and encouraging environment you can actually become HAPPIER than someone who has genetic predispositions to be content!
People who are interested in productivity know how valuable it is to plan and review goals but… they also have a tendency to overdo it and spend too much time on this… time which of course could be used for work that matters and actually moves things along, and leads to some progress!
Planning is crucial and only recently I’ve realised how powerful is to have a clear action plan and revise it regularly but by planning we don’t really tick any of our tasks off, by doing to-do lists we don’t really do any of these things that we should be doing. It’s easy to overdo the prep and planning bit then so we need to always keep checking that it’s balanced and ideally schedule some time for it, e.g. an hour at weekends and 10 minutes every morning.
How much time do you spend on planning your goals, tasks, activities?
It’s been another superbusy week:
- I worked full time (I have to train a new person who will cover my maternity leave and work days seem more exhausting and intensive than ever before);
- I reached a major milestone in my personal life – the start of the 8th month of pregnancy;
- I had a few medical pregnancy-related appointments (soon it will be decided whether I will need to give birth earlier and how much earlier!).
- On top of everything my 4-year-old was off sick
- And I have to keep finding time to prepare things for the baby’s arrival (rooms arrangements, shopping, reading reviews of baby products, etc.).
I was trying to reconsider what are the most important bits and goals in my project, not for this year, but more narrowly for now – when I’m busy, about to give birth and still at work.
One of my goals was organising more outings with my daughter and spending more time with my family… however, when I thought about it more I decided it shouldn’t really be considered as a goal. It’s just a natural part of my life that matters and needs to be prioritised whenever I can. That’s it. It doesn’t have any deadlines and can’t be really specific enough or measured to classify it as a goal.
I wanted to improve my foreign-languages skills but really… that’s definitely not a priority right now. When I can I try to pay more attention to grammar or new foreign words (English and Portuguese) but that’s where my effort ends at the moment.
I’ve decided to focus all my energy, time and attention mainly on writing and reading because that’s what’s really important to me right now in terms of my personal development.
I’ve also decided that monthly updates re: my Personal Growth project would be better than weekly ones. It will allow me to focus on my goals even more.
One of the most crucial tasks for the next week is to contact a few publishers with a book proposal and see what they think…
Well, fingers crossed!
In 2000 a huge amount of data was analysed and, after talking about happiness to 1.1m people in 45 different countries, it was concluded that on average people feel quite happy. On a scale from 0 to 10 the average score for all these people was 6.75, which is quite surprising when we think of how much time and effort and money many people put into the pursuit of happiness, how many of us complain and worry unnecessarily every day, and how many life coaches or self-help and self-development books are published every year on selling tips and techniques for boosting well-being!
A score of 6.75 I think is pretty good! What do you think?
Surely the surveys were not too straightforward and consisted of a series of questions to cover various aspects of well-being rather than asking only one question directly – how happy are you?
And we know there are LOTS OF benefits of being HAPPIER – it can even protect us against colds! Also, according to research done by Danner (results published in 2001) happiness can increase our life by 9.4 years!
What do you think your score would be?
I think if someone simply asked us only one question about happiness the answer would depend a lot on the time of day (we feel more tired and unmotivated in the afternoon rather than in the morning). The season of the year and the weather would also affect our answer, as would our feeling disappointed, stressed, in pain, or relaxed and contented at a particular time for some reason (maybe we just finished reading or writing a book or we are terrified because we are going to the dentist?!). We may focus more on the emotion we feel at particular time than on our general well-being. We probably wouldn’t score anywhere near the maximum number. However, we actually probably should give us a very high score when we think about it for longer and remind ourselves that actually maybe we have a great family, and food every day, and a roof over our head, and fairly good health; and maybe we can work full-time while some people due to ill health may not be able to… Or maybe we have a fantastic, trustworthy and reliable friend and there are some people out there in a toxic environment that leads them to depression and even suicide.
If we try to not take things for granted and be more grateful for what we have, our happiness level increases a lot. Actually, one of the most common exercises in positive psychology which can boost our well-being is to keep a diary where we write each day a few (3-5) things that we are grateful about that day. It is proven that this works and boosts our happiness level a lot.