Me & my personal goals – so how are we doing?

If you’ve been following my blog since around December, you’ve probably seen some posts about my Personal Growth project – an idea for a plan for 2018 to achieve some goals.

In short, it meant that I wanted to spend some time on activities that can contribute to my personal development and that simply make me feel good and happy. Some of these things were reading and writing more, learning more about social media and digital marketing or trying to find a publisher for my book.

These goals are quite time-consuming sometimes (especially in the challenging busy period in my life that I’m in –> read due date soon!). Well, I guess I like challenges 😉 The goals are related to each other and focus on the same interests:reading, learning, writing, doing research about psychology-related topics. 

I used to give weekly updates in January and then decided that with my full-time job, pregnancy, my other little one at pre-school age, and with some ot

her time-consuming responsibilities as well, the weekly updates weren’t very convenient for me. It meant that sometimes I was focusing on reviewing and thinking what to write for an update blog post rather than taking action and doing activities which would take me closer to achieving my goals. So, for example, instead of such a blog post I could be completing documents for a publisher.

Also, I’ve realised that learning more about social media and digital marketing is A LOOOOOOOOT bigger a topic than I used to think. It’s HUGE. The amount of advice available online and all the little aspects that I should be aware of and try doing (some plug ins, SEO, Google analytics, learning how to grow my audience on Instagram account) are incredibly time-consuming, and even breaking it down into many little steps and tasks is simply quite difficult.

Social media, different platforms, websites, and the Internet in general have been changing and developing so rapidly that understanding many of the technicalities seems like a very long process. However, it’s interesting and I believe it’s worth learning and being up to date, especially as we use the Internet SO MUCH nowadays in nearly every aspect of our lives – shopping, businesses, writing books, emailing, work, reading news, online banking…

I’ve been having LOTS of home-related paperwork to do, as well as organising stuff for the new baby. I still have a longer list of things to do with regard to that and recently it has begun to feel like: I tick 2-3 tasks off and in the next few hours or days a few other tasks have to be added, so instead of making my list shorter I just feel I keep replacing tasks with other tasks! It’s frustrating but I’m trying to do whatever I can to organise everything as much as possible before the birth.

I’ve had to slow down due to lack of energy and feel some days very unproductive, and I think that in other circumstances I’d be more worried or annoyed about it but in my current situation I just accept this.

I have some blog posts scheduled so that’s super helpful. I also started to do some videos on YouTube. It’s a work in progress. It allows me to be creative, flexible and that’s a lot of fun! I really enjoy writing the blog and shooting and editing the videos where I draw what I talk about (please see an example here and let me know what do you think about it!). I’m learning how to improve them every week and feel that, although I don’t tick every single task off my list quickly, I’ve been learning and progressing in my personal development a great deal since the beginning of this year … and that’s what the results of this Personal Growth project should feel like, right?

I look forward to what life brings and how the project will continue in different months, in different circumstances. It’s just interesting for me how as a busy active parent I can make things work, and how I’ll need to modify my daily plans in order to adjust to different situations. And … what the final result will be, how much I will have learnt, and also what I will have managed to achieve.


Personal Growth project. When things don’t always go as they should.

What do you do and how do you feel if some days you can’t really do what you plan to do? Do you just ignore it, accept it and keep going or do you get frustrated? Life is unpredictable and it’s difficult to be prepared for everything. We may feel hopeless, but it’s important to remember that some aspects we CAN control and some others we won’t be able to. If we can’t control something – why waste time on worrying and getting stressed about it? If we can control something – again, why allow too many negative emotions to cross our mind? We can decide what to change and how so as to make our plans work.


This week’s Personal Growth project update isn’t what I thought it would be because the third week of January has surprised me a lot…

Apparently the last two weeks have been the worst in England in terms of the amount of people suffering with flu. Most of my family is sick, including me. I’m actually recovering from tonsillitis, not flu, but that’s not that different really. A bad sore throat kept me awake for nearly three nights. I had to keep working full-time (a long story…) and when you are in your third trimester of pregnancy such a combination of circumstances is not much fun… I felt stressed, weak and unproductive. And as you can see I still feel a bit like complaining about everything ;). I really don’t like to feel this way.


On the other hand, I try to focus on the positive whenever I can and I’m actually quite surprised that I did anything at all related to my project this week! I did a bit of writing, and  I uploaded some blog posts on time according to my new schedule (Productive Mondays, Happy Wednesdays and weekends with Personal Development). I was reading books and doing some research, and kept my social media related to my project mostly up to date. I should try not to get too frustrated that I haven’t done enough/much this week when there is a good reason for that and I think being ill is probably a good reason. 😉 haha

If your week wasn’t great then maybe you will stop for a moment to consider one of my favourite quotes which  always makes me feel better in such situations:


What could that reason be this time? Maybe just a simple reminder to slow down once in a while, not to review your goals, but actually to forget about the goals for a few days and re-charge the batteries.

As I mentioned during the project prep time – a flexible approach is, and always will be, critical here (as long as I don’t use it as an excuse to procrastinate! ;)). I think I should write the word FLEXIBILITY on a white board in my kitchen to keep this in mind all the time 😉 Without this attitude I’d probably already feel that I’ve failed. If you allow yourself some flexibility and try to get back to a positive mindset whenever you can then surely you won’t fail and you won’t disappoint yourself! 😉

And let me share one more favourite reminder which keeps me motivated in difficult moments:


How has your week been going? How have you been doing with your goals?

Welcome to the Productive Mondays cycle!


I’ve mentioned in one or two of my previous posts that 92% of people don’t achieve their personal goals. What about their New Year’s Resolutions? So actually these 92% of us fail by exactly… 15th January (today’s date!)! Although the chances are that small, I really hope that you are doing well with your goals.  Even if you haven’t been perfectly on track you can sit back, reflect on the bigger picture and spend a bit more time on planning. Perhaps you tried some techniques and methods which did not work well. What can be done to improve this, then? Be flexible, open and kind to yourself! You can do anything you want to with THE RIGHT MINDSET!

Psychologist Dr Gail Matthews found that we are 42% more likely to achieve goals simply by writing them down! (more about it here)

And how many people actually write their goals down?……3%!!!!!!!!!!!

There is one additional rule here: write about your aims on a REGULAR BASISreview them, update them, consider different solutions and methods!

This likelihood increases even more if you talk about your goal to a supportive friend who believes that you can achieve this.

Why is this all so important?

  • When you write things down and share them with a friend you need to concentrate a bit more to word your aims clearly and be specific, and this can make your plans more organised and structured
  • so this is like a first step which makes something invisible into visible & tangible
  • when you write about what’s important to you, then you’ll probably think more about it during the day too, and you will pay more attention to opportunities that you may encounter during your day
  • the more specific your goals are in terms of measuring them and with regard to time–the more achievable they will be

What do you have if you don’t write your goals down? Your dreams plus… an additional 2,500-3,300 other thoughts (per hour!) mixed up in your head… and this makes your passions and aims less significant than you’d like them to be.


Apparently, sharing updates with regards to your progress is another big important step if you’d like to ensure that you increase the likelihood of achieving your goals even more. Again – sharing them only with a friend is perfectly fine

MY project and YOUR goals


I recently wrote about creating and doing a Personal Growth project in 2018. There are a few reasons for that and the main one is that I’ve been passionate about positive psychology-related topics for around 16-17 years, have a degree in psychology, and yet I haven’t really ever shared this knowledge much and used it in practice.

My idea is to keep the plan for the project open and flexible during the year because while I’m learning new things I know that I will need to update and review it. At the moment I have two lists: one with goals and another one with productivity tips and techniques, and lots of notes 😉 I tried to simplify it as much as I can but at the same time I know that it will be a great challenge.


Thank you for your comments and feedback regarding my previous blog posts. I’ve received some great advice. I also read quite a lot of blogs to find out what people think about setting goals up (particularly for the New Year) and that was a VERY interesting experience. Fantastic to see a large diversity and variation in this topic:

  • Some bloggers don’t believe in New Year’s resolution at all. Looks like they think that the time when everyone feels a lot more motivated than usually won’t make the goals, for example, any more achievable. I partly agree. On the other hand, start of a new year feels like a nice special moment to start something new, work on changing old habits or creating some new ones.
  • Some of you believe that focusing on one new goal rather than a few is better because many aims and plans will make it difficult or impossible to achieve them
  • and then some of you have lists of goals varying from a few items on the list to around 20 or more.
  • There are people who focus very specifically on things which you can measure – e.g. reading 75 books, doing stretching every morning.
  • And there are people who concentrate more generally on positive traits and emotions, and are planning, for instance, to appreciate life more or worry less.

It would be great if you could add anything that you believe I’ve missed here (please comment below) or if you are willing to start a discussion about it below this blog post! 🙂

I don’t think that there are right and wrong answers about these personal development plans because everyone is different and something that is challenging for one person may be a lot easier for another.

The important thing is not what WE WANT but how we are going to achieve it:

  • Do you have any plan? Do you have a GOOD and SPECIFIC action plan?
  • Are you flexible in your approach and open to accept that you may need to change your strategy?
  • How much effort are you willing to put in chasing your dreams?


Happy New Year Everyone! 🙂

Why 92% people don’t achieve their personal goals?


I’ve been thinking quite a bit about why I didn’t achieve some goals in the past and I realised a few things. I believe many of these reasons would be the same or similar for most of you as well (please comment below if you agree!)

  1. I achieve goals IF I’m asked to do them by someone important at work or at a university. So if a lecturer tells me to write a 5,000-word essay in 3 weeks, I’ll write a 5,000-word essay within 3 weeks. I asked for an extension a few times while studying my two degrees and working at the same time but an extension meant 3-7 additional days. No more. If I tell myself to write 2,000 words in 2 weeks sometimes it may take me 2 or 4 months!

I keep postponing my deadlines because they are MY deadlines. It’s kind of understandable. If I don’t perform well at work, I may lose my job and have no income for a while. If I don’t execute my own goals ‘nothing’ really happens … except that my well-being will probably decrease and I’ll feel like a failure. I’ll also complain about not being able to achieve my aims, and get all sorts of negative thoughts about not progressing much and staying at the same point of my personal growth for too long.

It’s quite disappointing that actually many of us don’t take our own personal objectives seriously enough. We don’t think of ourselves and our aims as priorities and complete them only when everything else is done. I must admit it’s difficult, especially for a working parent, to manage to do a lot when each day has only 24 hours but I’m confident that this can be improved. I don’t believe in making excuses because most people on the Earth DON’T have perfect conditions, resources and circumstances. Yet, some are more disciplined, consistent and perhaps stubborn, and are able to achieve what they want to and dream about!

  1. I’m too strict and I tend to expect too much from myself. I plan and want to do too many tasks in too short a time without thinking much about all the unpredictable things that can happen in life.

I’ve been impressed with writer Gretchen Rubin’s goal to blog 6 days a week. It’s actually a very challenging task, especially if you are a working parent. You may simply not feel well enough some days. Sometimes I don’t have any Me Time at all! HOWEVER, as with everything, I’ve learnt that there is actually a solution for such a problem! My friend (talented author Carol Browne – please see her blog here ) taught me that anyone can schedule their blog posts. How great is that!

I believe I can still expect QUITE a lot from myself but then I also need to:

be more self-disciplined,

try to work smarter and harder

and have a bit more flexible approach which means:

  • to review goals and action plans, e.g. on a weekly basis, think of ways of how to change them to make them work better
  • and try out more consistently various productivity tips.


    3. Fear is another big factor. Consciously or sub-consciously I don’t always believe that I’m good enough, that I have enough knowledge or skills or qualifications to do something I enjoy doing. So yes, there is fear of not being able to do my goals to the standard that I want (perfectionism!). I wouldn’t say it aloud much but surely there is some fear of criticism and some days I  lack of confidence while working on my goals! It’s difficult to be highly motivated all the time especially when you don’t see progress quickly. Then you lose focus and try to find the reasons as to why your goals haven’t been achieved yet … But – everything worth doing takes time – they say.


     4. Most of the time I didn’t have an action plan at all, let alone a good one. The idea of writing down goals and steps/actions in the form of an action plan always sounded a bit ridiculous to me … BUT there has been a lot of research which proves that people who write their goals down and who have action plans are A LOT more likely to achieve their objectives.

     5. Often I used to think I work hard on my goals but when I think about it now I can      see that I didn’t put enough effort in, or I stopped doing some of the tasks and taking action for days, weeks or even months (!) due to other commitments (work, family, taking care of the house). How can you achieve anything if you work in such an ineffective way?

Phew … It was really difficult to get to the bottom of the issue and to find out why I don’t achieve some of my personal goals. The answers aren’t always as straightforward as we think they may be. This didn’t feel like a very comfortable task but it’s definitely something that finally HAD TO be done in order for me to better myself and consider how I can achieve my goals in the coming year.





How to plan your 2018 GOALS smartly?


Quite a few statistics I’ve come across indicate that approximately 92% of people who plan New Year resolutions give up on them within around a month! This is a shocking number. If you asked me about the stats before I found this information, I’d have thought it was more like a 50/50 or 40/60 ratio.

Isn’t that one of the most discouraging and demotivating statistics you’ve ever heard of?

What do you do to ensure that you are among the remaining 8% of people who get what they want in life?

Firstly we need to understand that our dreams are not goals, and vice versa.

Dreams become goals only if you are willing to work on them, if you specify them, write them down, prepare an action plan, and in any other way show commitment and effort; and naturally when you take action towards achieving them.

  • Specify:Think what your biggest dreams are and which ones you can and want to pursue. Think what you could do to fulfil them.


  • Be Realistic: When someone says, “Make sure your goals are realistic and achievable”, I think, “Well, if Wright brothers, Orville and Wilbur, (two American inventors, engineers and aviators) had thought what was realistic, what had been done before, what people of their time were able to do, they would NEVER have built and flown the world’s first airplane in 1903! If Einstein, Edison or Darwin had listened to others and had tried to set SMART goals (*goals that are specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time specific), then they surely wouldn’t have got as far as they did because many things that they invented or discovered weren’t thought to be realistic or achievable in their lifetimes!

On the other hand, it is commonly stressed in psychology-related books and articles that people OFTEN overestimate what can be done in a year and underestimate what can be done in 5 or 10 years. And certainly there is some truth in it as well. Surely we can do a lot in just one year BUT some goals such as writing books or becoming an expert in a chosen discipline may take more than a year.

It also depends on your circumstances, although they are not as vital as you think because even if you haven’t the resources you believe you need, you may find other ways around it to achieve your goals. To tell the truth people rarely have an ideal situation (enough money, contacts, time and so on).

  • Action plans:According to many different studies, people who write their goals down are more likely to achieve them. I didn’t know how important an action plan was before someone advised me to do it. I used to think I work hard on my goals but with the right action plan I’ve realised I didn’t put enough effort into my goals before.

A good action plan, and most of all FOLLOWING IT, is a real eye-opener!

I’ve realised that many people get frustrated and/or fail because they don’t plan any tasks with regard to their goals at all (and think, e.g. “I’ll learn Spanish when I find some time for it.” ) or make their action plans too strict. I used to be one of those people. For instance, I planned that I’d do something EVERY SINGLE DAY for the next X months or years! There is a quote I really like which says:

You can do anything but not everything.

Yes, so dream big, make sure you prepare and plan your goals well but DON’T forget that you need to have a flexible approach to it. For example, I have a four-year-old daughter and I’m going to give birth again in March 2018, and I’m sure that there will be days when I am not able to write anything.

Additionally to all these things that we can predict there are ALWAYS some things that we CAN’T predict. You may have to change your job and you won’t be able to exercise, write articles, design clothes or work on your business idea in the early mornings as you planned; or you may need to move and many of us know how time-consuming it is. Rather than getting irritated that we can’t have it all and do everything we want to, we should design our action plans quite flexibly – a good idea may be to write down what you will focus mostly on in each month of the next year and plan the month ahead only a few days before it starts. 

  • Reviews: Planning November or even April next year when life gets so unpredictable sometimes seems like a huge challenge. During the next year you may find out ways and techniques of working better on your goals (for example, you may do an online marketing course and find out how you can find more clients for your business) because we are constantly learning. You may get some good advice from others who achieve their goals or you may decide that your real passion and true goals are a bit different from what you thought they were. Therefore, it would be best if you review your goals and action plan regularly, for example at the end of every month(some people would prefer to do it every quarter).


  • Modifications: And the most important point – changing or adjusting your goals does not mean that you give up on them or that you failed. As long as you have grit and put passion and real effort into whatever you’d like to do it still counts! There definitely will be days when you will have doubts and lose your confidence but remember these are JUST YOUR THOUGHTSgenerated by your own mind. If you need a break, take a few days’ break, don’t think about your goals at all and then with a fresh eye and energy consider what you can improve to become more productive and effective, and to accelerate your progress.


I’m very interested in what you think about this and what your plans for 2018 are!