Today is Mother’s Day in Poland and I’d like to share with you some thoughts on motherhood and maternity leave:
Being a mum isn’t a full-time job as some people say.
You can’t call in sick.
You can’t have breaks because you feel like eating a hot lunch.
You can’t quit because you don’t like the conditions.
You need to fulfil your responsibilities even if you are sick or tired or didn’t sleep for a few days. It’s taken for granted that being a mum is just a role like being a friend or a daughter. Of course, mums know that it’s a lot more than that. What is it then?
In my opinion it is a mission! If I had to describe motherhood with a movie title I would probably say Mission Impossible. 😉 Motherhood is POSSIBLE to do but it’s impossible to please everyone while you are in this role and to always keep on top of it.
All mothers have all sorts of moments when they feel down, depressed, fed up and exhausted. All mums make some mistakes. But, most mums surely do above and beyond to try to meet the expectations which are imposed on the mother’s role.
The health-care services, our close relatives and friends tend to emphasise that we shouldn’t stress out or try to be perfect parents. Yet, subconsciously we get all sorts of signs that perfection in this matter is very important. We get a lot of pieces of advice and everyone including our friends, and mum and auntie seem to know the best way to bring up our own children – how we should hold them when they are little, when we should feed them, what, why and when we should be doing well… everything.
What’s more, friends who we haven’t seen in a while will ask us what else we are doing in our life – what job we go to, what interests or business we have – because being a mum doesn’t sound like it’s enough. We should have a life, right? What if someone’s passions are activities with children and spending time with the family?
So many people are parents and yet so many keep forgetting how demanding and challenging a mum’s role is, especially if we want to make sure that our little one has a wonderful childhood and becomes a healthy happy person.
No wonder many women tend to defend themselves saying that motherhood actually is like a job and sometimes they even list tasks and responsibilities they have every day and complain that there is no time for anything else. Right. That’s understandable. Yet, why do we feel like we should explain ourselves in this matter? I know that it’s easy to forget how it is to take care of a newborn and how it is to sleep up to 2-3 hours a night if we are lucky, and how painful the labour is.
Whatever the reasons why people forget how motherhood can be a challenge, we should start to care way less what others say and think. If others are also parents they should understand us. Their amnesia and ignorance aren’t our problems, mamas!
The most frustrating are people who don’t have any children but try to judge us or give advice on how to look after our children, believing that their opinion is for some reason better and wiser than our own.
And yet, there are hundreds of forums and groups for mums where sometimes the biggest critics and I-know-it-all types of people are … other mums.
Well, time to care less about them too and hang out with and hold on to positive, warm, encouraging, good and supportive people around us.
Sometimes it may be impossible to cut off all negativity out there – there may be a cousin or even your good friend who would try to make your life harder even if they believe they are just trying to help. However, if we can’t change what others say, then we can surely at least change our reaction to it.
Listen to negativity less.
When someone tries to destroy your inner peace, think of some nice dessert or flowers 😉
Here’s to all mamas whose effort, huge love and sacrifice is invisible to others!