DO NOT WORRY CHALLENGE!

casual, cheerful, daylight

Have you ever thought how often you ACTUALLY worry about something? If you haven’t started to pay attention to it yet you may want to do a little experiment and write down a number (in order) every time a thought that comes to your mind can be classified as worrying about something – doesn’t matter what:

past – that you can’t change something, that you made a fool of yourself, that you should have done this or that project or task or assignment better

present – that you hadn’t time to wash your hair or do your nails and you don’t look good enough, that you have too little energy again, that you don’t have enough money

future – you don’t have anything to wear for the interview tomorrow, you won’t manage to do a task on time and the deadline is coming, you won’t ever achieve anything great because you haven’t got enough time!

We think a lot! According to science we have up to 70,000 thoughts a day! What’s interesting, many researchers agree that most of these thoughts we had the day before too and even up to 80% is negative thinking and worrying! 

The average person tends to worry A LOT about their financial situation. You probably often hear from your family members or friends, or read online that:

  • someone would have been happier if they had more money,
  • someone could pay off their debts with a higher salary and put an end to their sleepless nights,
  • someone could buy a house for their sick mother … if only they had more money.

There are hundreds of these examples that you hear about every day, proving how important money is in our lives. Now, it’s true it is important although it isn’t the most important thing, and as academic studies found – winning a lottery would improve your wellbeing levels YES but only for a few months. After the initial euphoria that may last a few weeks or months your happiness level would go back to its usual level.

We think that money is a magic pill that will solve all our problems, that this is the key to our happiness but actually we realise how wrong we were just when we lose something more important like health or family, or a best friend.

buy, cash, coins

Now, if money isn’t the key to happiness and by worrying about it all the time every day on every possible occasion we can’t magically change the amount of pounds or dollars in our wallets – why worry SO MUCH about that?

By thinking about how broke you are you won’t improve anything. Full stop. The end.

The richest people say that they don’t work for money but money works for them. What they mean is that they focus on their passions and goals and work hard for their success. They do not concentrate solely on money as this would not lead them where they are because, as studies also show, money IS NOT a strong enough motivation to ensure that we reach our goals. Some people focus so much on money and get frustrated about it that they think about it more than about the work that needs to get done to help them reach their goals! And it’s a vicious cycle as you can imagine.

Of course we don’t worry just about our money. We also worry a lot about things that are important to us, e.g. teenagers worry about their look a lot and mothers worry about their children, their health and development a great deal. You may be worried that you’ll get fired at your job and someone else may be worried about their grades at university. You may be worrying about a possible injury when taking up a new sport or about being late for a train that you should take to be at a meeting on time. We worry that it’s rainy; we worry that it’s too hot and sunny; we worry that we won’t get this new, better job; we worry when we get a good job (Will I be good enough? Will I meet their requirements? I don’t have the knowledge I should have to start this new job … What if they discover that?!); we worry when we can’t afford to travel; we worry when we travel because of various risks and so on … a never-ending story, right?

aerial, aerial view, aeroplane

Whatever it is that you worry about, if you pay attention to your thoughts on a daily basis for, let’s say, 7 days you will notice that you worry more often and about a lot more aspects in your life than you thought you did! That is why the DO NOT WORRY CHALLENGE is especially hard. A lot harder than, for instance, the 100 SQUATS A DAY FOR A MONTH CHALLENGE that I’m doing.

The DO NOT WORRY CHALLENGE is possible but as with meditation you need to practise it daily.

Try to do 24 hours of the CHALLENGE and let me know in the comments what you think about it and how it went.

I’ve done the challenge and I must say it feels great. I have to work on extending the challenge for more than just 24 hours and try to implement this way of thinking in my life. It will be a difficult task because, according to some research, changing a habit can take from a few up to … approximately 250 days depending on the person! What if I need nearly a year to make my habit work and do it automatically?! Well, I guess it’s worth trying! Surely I don’t lose anything by worrying less. Some worry is natural and perhaps even needed (to prepare well for an exam or a trip) but human beings tend to over worry often! And this drains our energy and make us negative, miserable and tired.

If you want to join the challenge remember that it is easy to forget that you are doing this! In the first weeks it’s good to have some notes as reminders around you – in your wallet, on a mirror, on your desk or fridge.

Should you try it?

WHY NOT?!

 

Good luck folks! 😉

When life and priorities change

It’s funny how productivity techniques work so fantastically well when you have a lot of time but just don’t really know how to organise yourself better, and how they fail to work when you are REALLY very busy.

Having a newborn is probably one of the most extreme circumstances when one lacks time, sleep, and a proper eating routine, suffers some memory problems and feels drained physically and mentally (especially when the baby has colic).

The great news is that I survived the terrible labour and that my baby is well!

The bad news is that, although a few weeks have passed since my son’s birth, I still don’t have a routine I’d find relatively stable and effective. Days are challenging, time passes incredibly quickly and I need to be very flexible. I feel I would like to devote a bit more time to my interests and exercising but working on wellbeing and parenting has become a priority right now.

In meantime I’ve been discovering some new activities and experiments I can do with my 4-year-old daughter. Some quality time for us is needed more than ever.

Have a look at some interesting ideas for children’s activities: here

Can worrying be good for you?

“Values are linked to worries. Researchers distinguish two types of worries – micro worries and macro worries (Boehnke et al., 1998).

Micro worries are all about yourself and others close to you (‘Will I get an interview?’, ‘What if he leaves me?’). Not surprisingly, they lead to poor well-being. Moreover, people who have a lot of these worries usually hold power and hedonism values.

Macro worries, on the other hand, are about society, the world or universal issues (AIDS in Africa or presidential elections in the USA). People who are high on universalism and bebevolence values have these types of worries, together with a higher level of well-being (Schwartz et al., 2000).

So, worrying is actually good for you, as long as it is not self-centered.”

Positive Psychology in a Nutshell. The science of happiness. by Ilona Boniwell.

What is HYGGE and how can it improve your life and well-being?

Living-Room-Inspirations-A-Pile-of-Pillows-Helps-The-Medicine-Go-Down6

Hygge (pronounced “HUE-gah”) is a Danish word that describes a lifestyle where we consciously focus on creating joy and cosiness in everyday life, or, in other words, it’s a ritual of enjoying and celebrating life’s simple pleasures such as family, good feelings, nature and friendships.

People who implement this in their lives respect others and try to be always warm, friendly and open. Surely, the world would be a much more beautiful place and our lives easier if everyone decided to implement this approach. 😉

Snuggling up in a blanket in your most comfortable PJs, with a big cuppa of your favourite coffee, tea or hot chocolate, and working or relaxing in such a comfortable environment, is something we should aspire to once in a while if we want to maintain or boost our well-being, according to Danes. They believe that this is the best way to fight boredom and depression too.

Some people describe Hyggeias a Danish way of looking for beauty in everyday mundane life.

Hygge means that we allow more time for things that we enjoy. It means that we are okay to slow down not because some activities need to be done more carefully but because they simply give us pleasure and put us in a good mood: simple, small, everyday things like making a coffee or preparing or eating breakfast.

To some it may seem like a lovely but awfully unproductive (yet nearly impossible) way of living which active and busy people don’t have time for, but actually…  is Hygge perhaps the answer to why Denmark is often in the top 10 happiest nations in the world?

Living a very active busy lifestyle is surely draining and not really a natural way of living for human beings. Hygge can help you to relax, slow down a bit, and make your life more enjoyable.

How can you implement Hygge in your busy everyday life? 

Everyone is different, so not every activity will feel ideal for you, but if you look at the ideas below, you may find something that you will actually really enjoy and may consider trying to implement in your busy schedule once in a while …

Why should you do it?

Better to ask: why not? Why not try it if it was found to be so beneficial for people?

    • For example, you could invite friends round for a chat (rather than a movie or playing games, or sitting together and texting) and put out some simple drinks and perhaps a fruit or cheese platter for you all to enjoy together.
    • You can consider what you have always wanted to try but had various excuses for not doing, and take up a new hobby that would help you to relax (painting, swimming?).
    • You could light some candles to create a soft glow during dinner time and switch off the TV and your mobile, so you can enjoy your meal more.
    • Go out and play and enjoy spending time with your dog or children outside.
    • Have a picnic in the park with a friend.
    • Go for a bike ride

The ideas are endless really. You can find your hygge where you find your inner calm, where you feel good. It doesn’t need to be nature or snuggling in a warm blanket at home. It may be a coffee shop in the city centre where you enjoy observing others while drinking caramel mocha. It’s an individual matter as to what feels right and makes you happier.

Everyone can find hygge in a different place and situation. Try to find yours. Do more of what you love and be open to new ideas for spending your time unwinding and relaxing, especially here and now – in this super busy world that we live in…

You have only one life. Live it well! Enjoy it!

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If you’d like to learn more about Hygge, I recommend this beautiful edition in hard cover (great as a gift!): Hygge: The Danish Art of Happiness by Marie Tourell Søderberg. Have a look here

This is a nice read too: Hygge Habits: 42 Habits for a Happy Life through Danish Hygge that take Five Minutes or Less by Helena Olsen (more details here).

… and to end in true Hygge style here are two quotes that perfectly summarise this post… 😉